Can someone please tell me why there are so many umpire style shirts and dresses out in retail?
Empire style - Shirt or dress that is gathered right under the upper chest and then billows out to the waist, creating the effect that the wearer looks pregnant.

This hides my smaller waist that all of my salad eating has been maintaining.

Alright...
First thing I feel the need to do is go over some fashion basics. The following are trends (mostly long term since the last decade) that those ladies with fashion sense should know:
What's out:
Midriffs

What's in:
Long length shirts

What's out: 
Bell bottoms

What's in:
Skinny Jeans

What's out:
High heels

What's in: 
Wedges